Thursday, July 3, 2008

Before I Became a Mother...

With that post title, it's easy to assume what follows will be a wistful monologue on the beauty of parenthood. This is not that post.

Before I became a mother, never could I have imagined the scene that just transpired in our home. You've been warned; be thankful there's no video.

Our story unfolds with the introduction of one of my most beloved sweet treats: the Circus Peanut. Yes, the succulent, semi-stale, somewhat chalkish neon orange morsels from Mt. Olympus. My she-child loves them with a passion comparable to my own; I couldn't be prouder. Apparently Wal-Mart views them with the All-American affection that I do, and accordingly, they're bulked out on the seasonal aisle for the Fourth. God bless America. But I digress...

This morning, we have errands a'plenty to run. Before making my climb upstairs to shower and dress for the day, I bestowed sweet Sarah with a few circus peanuts from my secret stash as she and her brother hunkered down to watch Ni Hao, Kai Lan.

Water was warming in the shower, my teeth were mid-brush (which for me resembles a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth -- extra pretty when you're also fully naked) when I heard the screams and rapid stampede-like pounding of four feet up the stairs. Before I could fling open the door to squelch the chaos, into the bathroom bounded two underwear clad twins, bouncing up and down.

Darren: "Sarah lost her tooth! Sarah lost her tooth!"

Sarah (with a half-eaten circus peanut in each hand, one in a fist, clenching said tooth): "I just bit into the peanut really hard on purpose, and look! It came out! Check out the blood on the peanut!"

Darren (realizing I am jumping up and down too, totally naked, points to my gal parts laughing): "Eeeeewwwwww!"

Mommy (now Santa-esque, with toothpaste foam descending my chin): "That is SOOO awesome, Sarah! Let's go get the box (from my engagement ring)."


Maybe next time I'll remind them it's polite to knock...


P.S. - The original title of this post was Circus Peanuts, Missing Teeth and a Naked Mom...think I would have generated a bit of undesirable Google search traffic with that one?
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12 comments:

Barbara Manatee said...

Congrats Sarah! Cracking up at the events that transpired though! what timing!

nikole said...

I am so not looking forward to the tooth losing phase - for some reason, it gives me the chills. But maybe if all of Thea's teeth come out in circus peanuts, it won't be so bad.

Threeundertwo said...

Don't circus peanuts make *everybody* lose teeth?

The jewelry box is great! Wish I'd thought of that. Bet it's easier for the tooth fairy to find that under the pillow!

Laura said...

Circus peanuts are finally getting some billing!!!!

This, dear Cheryl, is an extremely funny post.

You say just enough for a good lol....wow.
DAUGHTER LOSES TOOTH IN CIRCUS PEANUT.

20 years ago- would you have predicted that? Wouldn't you have been thrilled to conjure up such a prediction?

Deanna said...

OMGosh...you seriously had me laughing out loud!!

Congrats to here for loosing a tooth though!!

Renata said...

Just couldn't stop laughing, Cheryl - & congrats to Sarah for losing her tooth - is it her first? My eldest has started losing teeth in the last couple of months & it's sure cute!
Renata :)

Lizz said...

So funny! I must confess, I'm not a fan of Circus Peanuts. Sorry.

Your daughter is precious.

Kelsey said...

BAHAHA I love it! Congrats on Sarah loosing her tooth!

surcie said...

I love "gal parts." Great post!

Tracy said...

What a great story!!! Congrats to Sarah.

And that will teach Darren to knock, no?

Connie said...

My granddaughter is getting desperate for her tooth to fall out..... it's been a wigglin for almost a month. I'm on my way to get some circus peanuts... always hated those things.... but they might be majorly redeemed if they PULL OUT Kenz's tooth!

Mommy of Mayhem said...

I loved this post, AND I love circus peanuts. I'm thinking about filling a hole left by a falling child's piano with Gotta love our kids..... :)