Before I Became a Mother...

With that post title, it's easy to assume what follows will be a wistful monologue on the beauty of parenthood. This is not that post.

Before I became a mother, never could I have imagined the scene that just transpired in our home. You've been warned; be thankful there's no video.

Our story unfolds with the introduction of one of my most beloved sweet treats: the Circus Peanut. Yes, the succulent, semi-stale, somewhat chalkish neon orange morsels from Mt. Olympus. My she-child loves them with a passion comparable to my own; I couldn't be prouder. Apparently Wal-Mart views them with the All-American affection that I do, and accordingly, they're bulked out on the seasonal aisle for the Fourth. God bless America. But I digress...

This morning, we have errands a'plenty to run. Before making my climb upstairs to shower and dress for the day, I bestowed sweet Sarah with a few circus peanuts from my secret stash as she and her brother hunkered down to watch Ni Hao, Kai Lan.

Water was warming in the shower, my teeth were mid-brush (which for me resembles a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth -- extra pretty when you're also fully naked) when I heard the screams and rapid stampede-like pounding of four feet up the stairs. Before I could fling open the door to squelch the chaos, into the bathroom bounded two underwear clad twins, bouncing up and down.

Darren: "Sarah lost her tooth! Sarah lost her tooth!"

Sarah (with a half-eaten circus peanut in each hand, one in a fist, clenching said tooth): "I just bit into the peanut really hard on purpose, and look! It came out! Check out the blood on the peanut!"

Darren (realizing I am jumping up and down too, totally naked, points to my gal parts laughing): "Eeeeewwwwww!"

Mommy (now Santa-esque, with toothpaste foam descending my chin): "That is SOOO awesome, Sarah! Let's go get the box (from my engagement ring)."


Maybe next time I'll remind them it's polite to knock...


P.S. - The original title of this post was Circus Peanuts, Missing Teeth and a Naked Mom...think I would have generated a bit of undesirable Google search traffic with that one?