Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dirty Laundry

What is it about blogging that compels one to honesty beyond the media's mandate?

This morning, as I went to re-heat the morning's cup of coffee, after of course extracting yesterday's last cup (as is my daily ritual), it hit me: filth. Pure (as in the unsullied embodiment of --not in the "clean" Ivory soap sense) filth. Any customer who patronized a 7-11 -- or even a gas station -- with a microwave so revolting in it's lack of cleanliness would surely never return.

Once confronted with my slovenly inattention to maintaining our microwave, what do I do? In a glaring demonstration of priorities gone awry, rather than scouring it, I'm blogging it.

Think I'm exaggerating? Don't believe me?
[Warning to the squeamish, prepare to avert your eyes.]

From the outside, all seems well. The decades-old nuker looks almost cute with a favorite "alien" drawn by Darren taped to the door.

But inside? [Again, be forewarned...]


ACCCCK! As God is my witness, I will clean it today.

But please, I beg you: Share something heinous that lurks in the world behind your blog. We so relish the sharing of the lovely via our blogs; humor me -- or at least make me feel less lousy -- by revealing a "lesser" aspect of your real-world.

Leave a comment; and if you're going to go the extra mile and post an illustration of something equally indefensible on your blog, let me know once you've done so, and I'll create a Tally Terribilis below for our collective confessional.

'Fess up, Friends.
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30 comments:

Harris Boys said...

omg cheryl, that is really dirty...hehe. how long has it been since you cleaned that thing??

the top of my fridge has about 2 inches of dust and I just can't seem to clean it...I always forget about it and when I do remember I don't care to clean it. I wish I could take a pic, its pretty bad!!

looking forward to see what others post about....

Cheryl Lage said...

I know! Isn't it AWFUL? If I had to guess, I'd guess that I cleaned it last month, but it also seems like yesterday that I was pregnant, so clearly I have no accurate scope of time...

Hadn't even thought about the top of our refrigerator...oh dear...

Gibson Twins said...

Hey Cheryl, fill up a coffee cup with water and turn on the microwave for 10 minutes. It will loosen up all the yuckies and make it really easy to clean. I don't let my husband microwave stuff anymore because my last microwave might run some tight competition with yours. LOL

Cheryl Lage said...

Great tip! Going to go try it out now...it is a full-family microwave, and most of what we nuke (outside of my coffee) is marinara laden and over-reheated. ;)

It's tucked in a corner behind the fridge so typically I don't give it a good long look (OBVIOUSLY!)

Maybe I should do an "after" picture in the coming days...but only if others confess their shortcomings and make me feel better! ;)

Nancy said...

LOL!! Uhm. I'd just have to take a picture ANYWHERE in our house *sigh* Yes. it's that bad. I'm embarrassed by our bathrooms. We have too many toys to effectively vacuum. I keep thinking that we need to get a cleaning lady in at least once a month, but funds have precluded that. (Well. lack of...)

Anyway ... a tip for the microwave. Put a bowl/cup/something of water in there and heat it on high for like, 8 minutes or so...all the grime will get considerably loose and be easier to scrub away. (essentially, you're steaming it away :) )

No picture for you since I'm at work right now...

Nancy said...

oops - someone else posted that tip as I was hitting submit. Ah well it's a good one :)

Jen B. said...

OK... now I don't feel so badly about some of the things I let go! I'm working now but will be sure to post pics when I get home. Sadly, the microwave is the least of my worries... it's my 7 year old's room that's such a disaster I haven't ventured in their for over a week! Yikes! No dirt but millions of toys... you'll see just as soon as I get home this evening!

Goddess in Progress said...

It's far from original, but the produce drawer in my refrigerator gets all kinds of fuzzy more often than is appropriate. I have such good intentions with all of those veggies... and then they're forgotten, yet again.

Oh, and the only reason my microwave doesn't look like that is because of the cleaning ladies. Blessedly, one of the things they do is clean the inside of the microwave. Oh, and the surface of the stove, thank god.

Jenny said...

I would have posted a pic of my kitchen sink, but Suzi kicked me out of bed at 5 am and I figured I might as well clean. I'll just describe it. Dishes had piled up, there was food in there that we were supposed to have put down the garbage disposal, and (this is really embarrassing) there were flies. It smelled yucky too. Oh, and there was mold in my coffee pot because I didn't drink coffee for a few days, and the only time I can remember to clean the pot is right before I need another cup! If people only knew all the chores I shirk in favor of blogging! I will do a post on this soon, because I'm quite certain there are other atrocities lurking in my house...

P.S. If you really want to make yourself feel better, watch Clean House with Niecy Nash. It's on the Style Network.

LauraC said...

I can't post anything similar because we have a cleaning service. But I have blogged some dirty laundry, like the horrible shows I watch and the fact that I chew on pens until they can not be used by anyone else. I can pretend my real-life friends didn't read it!

the schirano triplets said...

haha, that is gross! but i will admit mine has definitely looked like that before... right now my house is actually pretty clean, just very disorganized in certain places, you know, the basement, closets, etc... heehee

the schirano triplets said...

i should have mentioned that it is "uncharacteristically clean" :)

Bia said...

My microwave looks like that sometimes, too. But I have a solution that makes me clean it at least twice a month: having my Mom and Dad over for lunch...knowing my Mom will see it makes me clean it before they come. (We alternate Sunday dinners...which is a good thing otherwise I'd have to clean it every week. EGADS!)

Now about the mold in the shower caulk...

Missy said...

Oh my! Thanks for sharing that Cheryl.
Hmm, I would have to say under my bed is the worst place in our house - Sugar our pup takes things that are No-No's (like a Cabbage Patch doll, a blue bouncy ball from the gum machine, a plastic Easter Egg, etc. - this is what I can currently see under my bed) under there & chews on them. Our bed is huge & so it is very hard to vaccuum under the bed.

Cheryl Lage said...

Oh you guys do make me feel a BIT better...but that is one nasty microwave (that has a coffee cup of water heating in it right now...)! There is nothing quite like a pending parental or in-laws (or book club) visit to spur my cleaning frenzies...but clearly, I must not entertain enough...

Bia, you HAD to bring up the mildewy/moldy caulk, didn't you? (Hint: I'm no Hazel in that department either...)

Keep 'em coming you all -- I still feel dirty...

Deanna said...

Mine is bad too don't feel bad Cheryl...
I'm at work otherwise I'd take a picture :)

Hope you get it cleaned...

Threeundertwo said...

I have a special crumb collection in the pantry. And boxes of foodstuff from probably 1986. It's so scary in there you can hear horror movie music when you open the door. I really need to just dump everything.

Giovanna Diaries said...

Not absolutely hideous! Nothing a little windex couldn't handle. My microwave is new (on top of the counter)...so it's rather clean...but my old microwave (which is still in my kitchen b/c it's a wall mounted) is dirty as heck! It doesn't work...hence the new microwave. But I really should take some windex to that puppy!

Laura said...

I think this is pretty awesome. a) It means you use the microwave a lot and so do we.
b) It means you don't sweat the small stuff and neither do I.


Cheryl. This is gross to admit, but my hair falls out. It always has. So unless I am REALLY on my hands and knees EVERY day after I get ready in the morning for work, there will always be stray hairs clinging to this and that in my bathroom. And because my hair is so dark...it seems somewhat nastier.
I'd take dried up spaghetti sauce in a microwave anyday.

Laura said...

Oops. I meant to add that yes..a big glass bowl with water is good but it's really good if you add some lemon to it.
I cannot believe I would be giving anyone cleaning advice, but I have really had to clean our microwave many times when it has reached the point where yours is.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Does my fireplace count? I'm not sure if it qualifies as it was my sons attempt at cleaning up, but I sure do hear you. I feel like I can't ever keep up.

Barbara Manatee said...

Whew! That is icky! Hope the tips helped and it came clean!!

Thankfully, at quick glance, although the house can look cluttered, it does not look too unclean, BUT...a closer look will surely find many corners untouched - esp with a dust regularly. I'm great about dishes and laundry and vacuuming and decent with cleaning the bathroom...but I HATE to dust!

Oh, one area that probably always 'looks' gross is the toilet. We have well water that sometimes is rusty and leaves a beautiful ring around our toilets...even with soaking and scrubbing, there's spots that never come clean! I 'know' its the rust, but you can't help but think the toilet just looks dirty! ugh!

beth - total mom haircut said...

I want you to know mine has looked like that too. It doesn't now because my in-laws were here to recently. But it will get there again. And you will feel better when it does. Until then, clean your microwave, Dude!

CC said...

my whole house is a mess... we have been under construction.. so any pic of the inside of my house - look in the background... Lots of mess! LOL
I don't think your microwave looks so bad! happy cleaning!

Jen B. said...

My "dirty laundry" pics are posted... go ahead... take a look. Then you won't feel so bad!

bestfamily said...

I right there with you. But I am airing dirty laundry opposed to dirty nukes! LOL

I love the alien pic btw! What a cute alien.

Maternal Mirth said...

Ooooooooh ... I like that idea of airing your "dirty's" on the blog!!!

Can I just air out Dummy??? He's filthy!

Manic Mom said...

Have you been to my house? I don't think so. LOL Thank the Lord, right.
My laundry room looks like your microwave does if it had clothes stuffed in it. I hate washing clothes!!! Have a GREAT weekend.

Allison R said...

Lucky for me, my microwave is on vacation...works, if you don't mind the sparks shooting out of it. I really should get it on video. The backs of my doors seem to get extra dirty - who knew.

Happy POW!

Mamasphere said...

This should make you feel better- my microwave is WORSE than yours, and I have no intention of cleaning it out. I DETEST cleaning the microwave, with all of those little microwaved and probably toxic bits of food dried on. YUCK! I'm going to leave it until my mom takes pity and does it for me.