Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Namer

...of the nail polish.

An obscure occupation perhaps, but even prior to my recent release from gainful employ, it's been a dream role.

No matter my surroundings, monikers for manicurial shades are coursing through my brain. Yes, I was listening to the sermon Sunday morning, but I was also spying Stained-Glass Scarlet, Communion Cup Crimson and for the more adventurous, Pew Cushion Cobalt. In the pediatrician's office? Tongue Depressor Taupe. At the elementary school party? Fruit Punch Fuschia.

Oh, I'd welcome Essie's directives of a single word descriptor -- or OPI's challenge of a seasonal, over-arching theme. For instance on Mother's Day, I might suggest Blushing Baby Cheeks, Pattycake Pink, Elmo-maroon, Robitussin Red...and for French manicure fans, Desitin White.

So there. I've out-ed myself as a clandestine creator of nail lacquer lexicons, vocabularies of varnish....and clearly, an unabashed aficionado of alliteration. If you ever happen upon a CareerBuilder classified seeking such a skill set...you know where to find me!

Many thanks to MamaKat's Writer's Workshop on Mama's Losin' It for facilitating my colorful confessional!

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20 comments:

Cathy said...

Oh, I hope you get a job like this...I would so buy the nail polish just for the names!! ;-)

Jamie said...

Thank you for the chuckle today! Much needed!

Nancy said...

HAHAHA you had me at Desitin White. :) Oh, I long for a French manicure...haven't given myself one in...forever! I'd be tempted to top it with the Tongue Depressor Taupe. ;)

Jen said...

Oh now that would be a cool job!

sherri said...

I saw your comment on my other blog (everything in moderation) so I thought I'd check out your site.

I love it!
This is a funny post.
(I love polish as well- kinda' fanatical about my fingers AND toes!)

Leigh Anne said...

oh my goodness...way too funny. and my favorite polish??? "I'm not a waitress, Red"...love it. (OPI brand). I'll keep my eye on on monster.com too :)

Nicole O'Dell said...

LOL you and your makeup. Didn't you recently have a spirit war going on between some products?

And, the nail polish shade in front made me think of prunes immediately (baby food on the brain?) so, we'll call that one: De-Constipation.

;)

Missy said...

Wow, you just named my perfect job too - I am obsessed with OPI because of their clever names for various colors.

Russian to a party
Yes, I am a Waitress Red
Marooned on the Subway
and this are the ones I have that I remembered.
I would totally buy your nailpolish over OPI any day!

Chrissy said...

Love it! I think you missed your calling.

Bia said...

you are too clever by far...

i do the same thing...but with paint.

sunflower yellow
cypress green
venetian pink
raphael red

for some reason, my colors are always inspired by Italiano things...

MereCat said...

Awesome. You'd be perfect for it. I think my favorite nail polish color name is "I'm Really Not a Waitress." You know it's red.

noble pig said...

You could do a whole line Cheryl.

First New born line...then toddler...then adolescent...tween..teen...empty-nestor...OMG do it woman...you have to....sold in packs of six with appropriate colors of moms of boys and girls.

Renata said...

You would be perfect for the job!! You could do a whole church pack.

Mama Krit said...

you are too funny!!

Barbara Manatee said...

LOL...like your names! I Love looking at the names on the OPI polishes...

Terra said...

and yet I am a nail biter...so I blew right through this cute post.

cat said...

Lovely ! I always wonder who comes up with paincolour names - let me give you a few: Rainy day, butterfiels, cookie, Bombay blush! I will let you know if Dulux or Plascon advertise for a paint namer.

Laura said...

You name nail polish.
I choreograph pretend acts for my homeroom to do for the talent show.

Brooke said...

I was just going to say....you might have some real fun coming up with paint names too.

We just painted the basement, Buzz Blaster Blue. I was thinking...who comes up with these names, lol! You could check with Behr.com if they are seeking employees to name their paint, I'm sure you would be good at it.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

This was really, really creative!