Thursday, June 3, 2010

No Parkin', Baby...

When the babies were little, we made near-daily forays out of the the mall, to Barnes & Noble, to the VMFA, to Walmart...we were on the move; thanks to mobility made possible by our dutiful, durable, double strolller. As you can imagine, adventures of any significant duration required a break to relieve my post-dual-birth-challenged-bladder. As a result, upwards of 50% of Richmond women have likely seen me pee. Not for my exhibitionist leanings, but for the narrow passage allowed in standard restroom stalls.

Ever try to pull a baby-laden buggy into a stall designed for a single soul with you...much less a double stroller? Leave my twin treasures outside a closed stall door to pee? Never! So onto the potty I'd plop, leaving the swinging door necessarily ajar with a DuoGlider wedged in the not-so-accommodating remaining space. The poor, poor handwashers. With no thanks to the over-the-sink mirror, they were privy to only the backs of my precious pair and a rather unflattering angle of my not-so-private peeing.

Thankfully, I'm a speed urinator. As such, we began to maximize the spacious public toilets designed to ease the wee-wee process for those unable to walk unassisted. If the restroom was empty when we arrived to do our business, aces. In we'd go...and quickly I'd go. If there was a line, we'd wait, and let those whose navigational need exceeded our own go before. Great pains were taken to explain to the kids that we were making use of this special stall in the absence of any wheelchaired folks waiting, of whom they knew---and still know---a few.

The double stroller has long been abandoned, but the accommodation providing potty is to this day deemed the "dancefloor bathroom."*

Have you developed unpredictable practices or created unexpected terminology since becoming a parent? Do tell!

*Feelings of others are paramount and should without question be handled with heartfelt, empathetic TLC; however, speaking disingenuous words of political correctness for political correctness' sake---or to be seen as super-socially aware---to my view all too frequently lacks intellectual integrity. More often than not, the PC pandering seems to emanate from a place of speaker-perceived undercurrent of pity is undeniably inherent. Pity ain't pretty; honoring our differences with compassion and honesty is.

Disclaimers all made, please know I never park in handicapped---oh wait, that's the wrong word---spaces.
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800 posts. Today. 800 posts.
Leave a comment today sharing your parenting confessions---or simply your affinity for the song that sparked this post's title---and be entered to win a copy of the amazing Elizabeth Lyons' latest, You Cannot Be Serious!


Threeundertwo said...

800 posts!?!?!? WOW!

I considered that a small child unable to be left unattended was sufficient handicap to allow me to use the occasional dancefloor stall.

As one who currently desperately needs that handicap parking spot, I have to thank you for refraining from parking there "even for a minute" as some people seem to justify. Really, those of us who need them need them for a reason.

Shelby said...

You have a blogger award on my blog. :)

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

800 - way to go! 800 beautifully written posts, I love your writing skills! And I love your blog! Wishing you 800,000 more : )

Ah, yes. We definitely use the handicapped potty stalls. Emma has even corrected me by telling me that we are not handicapped. Work with me Emma - 3 people in one stall warrants for it.
I have never parked in a handicapped spot but the Mom with Young Children spot used to get used a lot during strollr days.
Great post Cheryl and great giveaway!

Rebecca said...

I love it! I have issues with leaving the house after coffee b/c this is exactly what I'm afraid of. I always imagined that I'd do exactly what you did, but it hasn't come to that yet...

I loathe parking in the spots for mothers with young children...until I actually did...once...I still felt guilty b/c there were probably Moms who had younger kids...who definitely could have parked in the other 4 spots that were open!

Love the is sad that we have to do that...even the best intentioned writers, right?

Christy said...

You go, Mama!!!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

This is great! I haven't had to maneuver into a public restroom with my double stroller yet, but I can certainly imagine myself doing the same thing. And I can even imagine myself just thinking, daring someone to look unapprovingly at me. :)

I take the babes out to lunch once or twice a week...sometimes by myself, and sometimes we meet a girlfriend. I know which restaurants are stroller-friendly. I feed the girls their lunch before we go, and then they sit in their stroller and snack / nibble from my plate. They're usually content to do so for about 45 minutes. Most people are so sweet and accommodating, but there are times when I feel like I get glares from other diners...not because the babes are being loud (because - knock on wood - they very rarely are)...but I guess because I'm taking up extra space in the restaurant. I just smile right back. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do...and getting out a couple of times a week ranks high on my (selfish) list of priorities!

P.S. I love the picture from yesterday of your kiddos nuzzling each other. And CONGRATS on 800 posts!

Shelby said...

I just had a chance to read this post. Hilarious! I rarely venture out alone with the boys, so I haven't had to deal with this situation. It's not because I don't want to go out by myself, but because on the weekends we do things as a family and during the week I'm at work... Go YOU!!!

Congrats on 800 posts, too!

cat said...

Congrats on the 800 posts. I used the disabled toilet often as it has space for the buggy.

Nancy said...

Nice!! Congrats on the 800 posts!

I was in stitches reading this - thanks for the, ah, mental image ;)

Steph said...

800 wonderful posts. Congrats!

I've used the dancefloor dressing room before at Kohls. The girls had fallen asleep and took that once in a lifetime moment to try on something.

Tracey said...

Oh yes we've seen the inside of many dancefloor stalls! When the triplet trio all decide they have to pee at once, they always head to that big space and then proceed to pee all at once. Most of the time not at each other but I can't swear to it...sometimes moms don't need to know... go blogger mamma!!

MultipleMum said...

Your entry made me laugh. As a Mum of twins +2 more, I am a regular frequenter of the Handicapped loo too. Definitely going to steal your "dancefloor bathroom" expression.

Amy said...

Unfortunately we definitely use the handicap bathroom. With 3 by myself (especially since it's a singleton and 10 1/2 month younger twins) it's the only way to fit and 99% of the time that where the changing table is, so I usually change the kids and if I have to I use the stall.

Congrats on 800 posts!

joven said...

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Dianna@KennedyAdventures said...

Yup -- I'm the master of shutting all three in the handicapped stall with me, then begging them not to flush the toilet, sit on the floor, or open the door while I'm on the throne. Yay!!

800 posts-- Wow!! Does that make you a octegenarian of sorts?? (wink)