No Parkin', Baby...

When the babies were little, we made near-daily forays out of the house...to the mall, to Barnes & Noble, to the VMFA, to Walmart...we were on the move; thanks to mobility made possible by our dutiful, durable, double strolller. As you can imagine, adventures of any significant duration required a break to relieve my post-dual-birth-challenged-bladder. As a result, upwards of 50% of Richmond women have likely seen me pee. Not for my exhibitionist leanings, but for the narrow passage allowed in standard restroom stalls.

Ever try to pull a baby-laden buggy into a stall designed for a single soul with you...much less a double stroller? Leave my twin treasures outside a closed stall door to pee? Never! So onto the potty I'd plop, leaving the swinging door necessarily ajar with a DuoGlider wedged in the not-so-accommodating remaining space. The poor, poor handwashers. With no thanks to the over-the-sink mirror, they were privy to only the backs of my precious pair and a rather unflattering angle of my not-so-private peeing.

Thankfully, I'm a speed urinator. As such, we began to maximize the spacious public toilets designed to ease the wee-wee process for those unable to walk unassisted. If the restroom was empty when we arrived to do our business, aces. In we'd go...and quickly I'd go. If there was a line, we'd wait, and let those whose navigational need exceeded our own go before. Great pains were taken to explain to the kids that we were making use of this special stall in the absence of any wheelchaired folks waiting, of whom they knew---and still know---a few.

The double stroller has long been abandoned, but the accommodation providing potty is to this day deemed the "dancefloor bathroom."*

Have you developed unpredictable practices or created unexpected terminology since becoming a parent? Do tell!

*Feelings of others are paramount and should without question be handled with heartfelt, empathetic TLC; however, speaking disingenuous words of political correctness for political correctness' sake---or to be seen as super-socially aware---to my view all too frequently lacks intellectual integrity. More often than not, the PC pandering seems to emanate from a place of speaker-perceived superiority...an undercurrent of pity is undeniably inherent. Pity ain't pretty; honoring our differences with compassion and honesty is.

Disclaimers all made, please know I never park in handicapped---oh wait, that's the wrong word---spaces.

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