Thursday, June 24, 2010

Old Yeller

[This is a repost from August '08----motivated by the amazing Jill of Scary Mommy, who recently was distressed by a parenting moment in which she disappointed herself, and she fears/feared, her son. Enjoy.]

Scream-free parenting: Not an adherant, and if entirely truthful, not even an advocate.

Call me insensitive, call me reactionary, call health and human services, but I genuinely believe occasions occur wherein a little strategically applied vocal verve effectively sells it to the back of the house.

For those genuinely fearful for my sweeties' psyches, perhaps a bit of clarification is merited. If a napkin doesn't make it to a lap, my larynx isn't overworked. If the playroom is in utter disarray, I don't dole out the decibels. Hurting each other? I'm hollerin'.

In the 21st century, my fear is that as a parenting population, we tend to tippy-toe too tentatively, viewing our children's omnihappiness (yes, the "yelling" inhibits glee temporarily; but to my view, justly. Isn't that how correction/behavior-modification occurs? Don't those mice in the maze get an ever-so-slight buzz in order to learn the "right" path?) as more important than their ability to cope adequately in the inevitably non-coddling adult environment. Risking their long-term social acumen and fluency for the fleeting parental "self-satisfaction" of maintaining my cool (and their "friendship") by following the highly touted tot-raising trends du jour just seems far more insensitive than my currently employed, twin audience attention-getting, maternal method. I don't want my kids to enter adulthood emotionally ill-equipped -- having never confronted "enthusiastic" redirection.

For me: Loud = Love.

[Side benefit: Sarah and Darren are familiar with large, open mouths.]

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8 comments:

Steph said...

Unlike the shark, you also give them kisses with your yellin' mouth! Your kids are happy and from the things they say, wise as well...so it looks like you've found a good balance between the fun and the necessary discipline and teaching.

Rebecca said...

Enthusiastic redirection...I'm totally using that when we're in family counseling! LOL...hopefully it never comes to that!

Tracy said...

100% AGREED.

I find myself afraid occasionally that by yelling, I might be creating yellers, but then I remember, "I'm the mom."

cat said...

Gosh, I remember this one! Means I have been reading you for a long long time my friend.

Barbara Manatee said...

I remember this one too and also loved the "Enthusiastic redirection"!

I agree with you too, that some people tip toe too much and set their kids up poorly for dealing with the real world..

Jemma Chambers said...

You have to yell sometimes... you just do and you sometimes just cant stop yourself. And if you don't someone else will and I'll be damned if someone gets there before me - that'd be awful for my boys...

Jemma Chambers said...

#twinklytuesday

Mummascribbles said...

Completely agree - I try not to do it all the time but there are definitely occasions where it is needed. Children like to not listen to you when they've done something naughty - sometimes the only way is a raised voice to realise what they've done is not acceptable. Zach would get away with all sorts otherwise! thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday