Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Firsts

Those early days with twins are fraught with all variety of "firsts": first smile, first roll-over, first tooth, first step, first word. At the time, each all-important milestone seemed to require meticulous documentation (occasionally on doctor's orders), and times two.
(Will someone please reassure me that I wasn't the only one who had perpetual multiples-mama mindtalk going along the lines of, "Why can't Baby A sit unsupported yet? Baby B did last week!" "Baby B has 4 teeth, and Baby A has none! Is he calcium deficient?" "Baby A hardly burps at all. Is something wrong with her, or is Baby B overly gaseous?" Seriously, if I was the only one who did this, you can tell me. I think I'm over it now -- although Sarah has lost four teeth and Darren not a one....)

With "big kids" in house now, each with their own interests, we continue to find (and note) firsts. No longer do I have concerns (well, once in a while, see above) that the "other twin" achieve the same feats. We have a lot more "Boy Time" and "Girl Time" than earlier eras seemed to allow...and similarly, we do manage to finagle some "Mommy & Boy Time" and "Daddy & Girl Time." Everyone needn't do and accomplish the same exact things.

In our home lately, the kids' requests seem more gender specific. Whether impacted by classmates, or maybe it's sheerly a developmental stage, this weekend demonstrated that in spades.

Daddy and Darren's "Boy Time" Friday was what I've officially dubbed "Baby's First NASCAR"




And Sarah, well, as most girls do at a some point in their young years (I was 13; she's only 6), she decided rather than her straight Katie Holmes-ish bob, she'd like to go curly.



Baby's First Sponge Curlers:
BEFORE


AFTERTo parents of young twins who are feeling pulled in a zillion different directions, try not to be too tough on yourself about finding "one on one time" with your babies. It will come. Don't put inordinate pressure on yourselves to do everything within your power -- and perhaps even beyond it -- to "foster individuality." Of course we all want to foster individuality in each of our children...and we will. But the twins are also a part of a family...one in which all members need to be happy and healthy...and with no undue, self-inflicted, parental twinferiority complex "guilt." Relax a bit...and they will, too. Enjoy the ride.

4 comments:

Goddess in Progress said...

Ooh, Sarah's curls came out great! I used to love special occasions when my mom would put my hair in the sponge curlers (mine were pink, as I recall). My stick-straight hair never held the curl longer than a few hours, but I loved it anyways.

Oh, and I'm always doing the developmental comparison. I think the only thing that keeps me from going nuts with it is knowing moms with twins older than mine (like Rebecca of Foodie Friday, my real-life friend). Seeing her kids do things differently let me know it was normal.

And yet, I can't help myself. Rebecca's crawling all over the living room... shouldn't Daniel at least seem interested? :-)

bestfamily said...

Loved the curls! I knew your name sounded familiar! It is so awesome that you took the time to pop by my blog. Thank you for the compliment.

As for you entry about indivuality...Man that couldn't have come at a better time. The past week I have been hearing it from all side about trying to make sure the boys are able to develope their own individualities. And i have followed each comment with an ever resounding...I KNOW! But for now they are babies, and it is okay for them to be the same daycare class, share the same cookie, and play with the same toys. Why is that everyone who has singletons thinks they can give parents of multiples advice?! LOL

As for their developing...I figured out when they started crawling that Colton was doing things about 2 weeks behind Connor when it came to active stuff. But mental stuff it was the other way around. Colton babbled and "talked" first and two weeks later Connor started. So I tend to not worry to much. I do find myself thinking okay now one is doing it when is the other going to start. Sorry about the long comment. Can't wait to check back and see what is going on.

emma said...

I definately noticed a difference, from being in a twins group, between fraternal and identical twins and the timing of hitting those milestones. My twins were right in step. Helen did everything about three days before Abby, right down to getting their first teeth, first words, first steps. My friends with fraternal twins saw a much greater diference in these steps. But my girls have always been kind of ridiculosly identical.

Kara said...

those curls turned out lovely! my daughter is only 10 months old and I'm already a bit scared at how quickly she's growing - wouldn't it be nice if we could freeze time? :-)