Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Exhale

You want to be faithful...you ARE faithful.

You want to be confident and upbeat...you ARE confident and upbeat.

Yet, no matter your verve, your commitment, your belief, the never-goes-fully-away nagging is there.

Not unlike the still small voice that speaks the right and the positive into day-to-day living---in its persistence, there's an unwelcome corollary: the what-if whisper.

What if the scans reveal the cancer is back? What if it's inoperable this time? What if the kids lose their optimism for Daddy's full, long-life ahead freedom from melanoma? Worse, what if Daddy loses his?

So, you get in the car and you ride. You get to your destination. You hold hands through the parking garage walking to the clinic. You are seated in a sterile-looking room.You await the results. You giggle. Partially from nerves, but partially, happily, from the awareness that together you can---and will---handle whatever results the medicine man is about to reveal.

White coated and Clark Kent-ish, the charming doctor enters---cajoling and light-hearted. Ever-humorous, always direct, after a few polite minutes, Daddy asks the million-dollar question, "So...what of those scans?"

Brought back to task, the doctor with brief embarrassment shudders, "Oh, I'd never have come in joking if the news was bad! All looks clear. Some splenules (look 'em up) and some mildly enlarged but entirely unalarming nodes in your abdomen. We'll see you in three months for your next follow-up, but all is well."

All is astonishingly well. As Daddy and I followed our relieved, dancing children into a celebratory dinner, it was abundantly clear: all is so very well.

Thanks be to God. 
post signature
If your family has challenges that create "mental clutter," sometimes a concrete act of physically disposing of them can be healing and helpful. Adults and kids alike can benefit from "bagging it up." Before our February 2011 scans, I plan to have a few sacks available for the kids...and me! In the meantime, THANKSGIVING!

15 comments:

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

God is good!!! So glad everything is ok.

Donna said...

Praise HIM!!! And I'm all a mess with tears flowing freely down my cheeks!

Such sweet, wonderful news my dear friends! I daresay, let the celebrating and rejoicing carry-on! Carry-on for many, many days!

((hugs)) and love, Cheryl!

Renata said...

Oh Cheryl - this is wonderful news. I am so pleased for you guys - God is good.
I hope you have a wonderful week enjoying your precious family
Renata:)

Terra said...

What wonderful news! I am so happy for you and your family....a few months with less worry is bound to be wonderful!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Awesome and fantastic news! Praise the Lord.

Erin Reel said...

So happy for your family, C. You all continue to be in my prayers.

Cheryl Allen Salinas said...

I'm so glad for your joy! Your beautiful family is so deserving of it! Cheryl, your post is beautiful. We all want to understand what a moment like that is like, not out of voyeurism, but because we care and want to empathize, but we don't ask because it is so easy to accidentally say something damaging during sensitive times like these. Thank you for articulating your experience so clearly and beautifully! Love you and yours!

Andrea Brazil said...

Cheryl, what a gift you have for conveying the exact tenor of the experience. AND what a gift you and the family have as well! Cherish it and praise him, Andrea

Meagan Halquist said...

Glory be to God! Glad to hear that Dad is well :)

Nancy said...

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doing a BIG happy dance over here for you guys!! Woot, woot!

Rebecca said...

This is WONDERFUL news!!!! So happy for your family!

Barbara Manatee said...

such FANTASTIC news!! what an amazing relief and answer to your prayers!! Here's to many more clean scans!

cat said...

So, so happy about the great news.

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

I just teared up reading that. Such amazingly wonderfully news! I admire your family's strength and faith so much. Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

oops - I meant "amazingly wonderFUL news" :)