The Exhale

You want to be faithful...you ARE faithful.

You want to be confident and upbeat...you ARE confident and upbeat.

Yet, no matter your verve, your commitment, your belief, the never-goes-fully-away nagging is there.

Not unlike the still small voice that speaks the right and the positive into day-to-day living---in its persistence, there's an unwelcome corollary: the what-if whisper.

What if the scans reveal the cancer is back? What if it's inoperable this time? What if the kids lose their optimism for Daddy's full, long-life ahead freedom from melanoma? Worse, what if Daddy loses his?

So, you get in the car and you ride. You get to your destination. You hold hands through the parking garage walking to the clinic. You are seated in a sterile-looking room.You await the results. You giggle. Partially from nerves, but partially, happily, from the awareness that together you can---and will---handle whatever results the medicine man is about to reveal.

White coated and Clark Kent-ish, the charming doctor enters---cajoling and light-hearted. Ever-humorous, always direct, after a few polite minutes, Daddy asks the million-dollar question, "So...what of those scans?"

Brought back to task, the doctor with brief embarrassment shudders, "Oh, I'd never have come in joking if the news was bad! All looks clear. Some splenules (look 'em up) and some mildly enlarged but entirely unalarming nodes in your abdomen. We'll see you in three months for your next follow-up, but all is well."

All is astonishingly well. As Daddy and I followed our relieved, dancing children into a celebratory dinner, it was abundantly clear: all is so very well.

Thanks be to God. 

If your family has challenges that create "mental clutter," sometimes a concrete act of physically disposing of them can be healing and helpful. Adults and kids alike can benefit from "bagging it up." Before our February 2011 scans, I plan to have a few sacks available for the kids...and me! In the meantime, THANKSGIVING!